Living Large

Life and time are finite, our capability for imagination and wonder need not be.

My sweet papa passed away last week and time has been filled with all the family business and work of moving along, day by day. Grief is funny. I have been so fortunate to have my dad for 63 years, and he has been interested, interesting, loving and supportive of me for all that time. His pastor said at the simple graveside service, "Jimmy was simply the best man I ever knew..." He spoke of dad's love for us all, his loyalty, his honesty. And that was heartfelt and true. My dad never ever lost his capacity for wonder, intelligent inquiry, for making connections between art, science, life and spirit. I really can't process this loss yet, and I debated even posting about something so personal. but many of you who read this blog are close friends, and I wanted to say more about my dad than just a note that he died. He was fortunate, that having lived with heart disease for 40 years, he died suddenly without pain, suffering or fear. Even my mom didn't have time to be afraid.
I had been with him just 48 hours earlier, and,even though he was weak from an infection and on oxygen most of the time, he stood at the door with my mom to wave goodbye as I left the house -- something he never failed to do if he could.

A few of the things I learned from my dad:
How to camp and make a fire ( this comes first only because I am out here on the land right now)
How to study and learn new things
How to be married, to treat my beloved
How to see the big picture
How to remain optimistic and cheerful even when things look bleak
How to have discipline and focus
How to make funny faces
How to work with my hands and have respect for what is handmade
How to entertain myself and have varied interests
How to travel sanely
How to teach
How to look at the earth and see it's history
How to pass chemistry and physics
How to reconcile science and spiritual faith
How to live large no matter your physical, health, financial or any other conditions

We've taken off for New Mexico and are staying with relatives, letting mountain air and pine trees and storytelling do their magic.

Comments

[Pat S.]

Sounds like a wonderful man to have as Dad! How special for you! Enjoy your trip, cry when you need to and will see you soon!

[Linda Dawson]

Hi Susie,
Your Dad sounds like what a father should sound like, loving,caring, strong and giving freedom to grow. Cherish all these memories, cherish your Dad, and cherish yourself. And don't forget to make art. Studio time can be the most hearling of all experiences. It got me through losses of both parents and both my brothers. God love and care for you.
LindaD

[jean dahlgren]

Sorry for your loss.

[Linda Rael]

Dear,dear Susie, Even though we know life is finite, it is always hard when the end comes for a loved one. Your words about your Dad brought tears to my eyes for your loss of course, but it also reminded me of my own father.
You and Linda take care of each other, write when you need to, cry when you want to and keep your Mom close- she will need you. Love, Linda R.

[Connie Akers]

I learned many of the same lessons you list from my Dad and believe I am the person I am thanks in part to him & my mom's love & support. I know this is a difficult time and I wish you healing and strength.

[Margaret]

Oh Susie, I am so sorry for your loss.

[Maria Davis]

Susie, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's passing. My condolences to you and your family. I hope you all are doing as well as can be. I'm sure you know he's in a better place.

[Susie Monday]

Thank you all dear friends, virtually and actually, I appreciate your kind thoughts and understanding. I find that we are all moving forward, my mom is doing amazingly well considering that she and my dad were married for 63 years and probably spent less than 2 weeks separated in all that time.

[Judy Carpenter]

Hi Susie,
So sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope you are doing OK. My Mom passed away on July 1st - just a day or two before your Dad, I guess. Although she was 94, in failing health, and had been on Hospice for 2 weeks, I've had a rather tough time dealing with the loss. I hope you are doing ok, and that your time away was great medicine to help heal your pain. Your Dad sounds like he was a fine man and father...and I can see him in just the little that I know you!

Warm Hugs,
Judy Carpenter

[Jeanne Marklin]

Susie, what a wonderful way to honor your father's memory. You were blessed with one of the best! My father died at age 90 in April, and I was truly honored to be with him for the last week of his life. Our relationships never end, do they? We continue to process and remember so much after a loved one's passing.
Looking back over my Dad's life, and mine in the daughter role, has taught me a lot about myself, and given me a different perspective on his journey.