Complaint Free Art

Several weeks ago Linda brought home a slim little book from the library, Metodist minister Will Bowen's A Complaint Free World. The object is to accrue 21 sequential days without gossiping, complaining or criticizing (aloud).  As defined by Bowen, I understand gossip as being anything you wouldn't say to the person to his or her face. Complaints are any statements that have at their heart a wish that things were different then they actually are, expressed with negativity and mean-spiritedness. Criticism, well, that's got that negative energy floating around it, too.

As stated by Eckhart Tolle, and quoted on the organization's website:

“Complaining is not to be confused with informing someone of a mistake or deficiency so that it can be put right. And to refrain from complaining doesn’t necessarily mean putting up with bad quality or behavior. There is no ego in telling the waiter your soup is cold and needs to be heated up—if you stick to the facts, which are always neutral. ‘How dare you serve me cold soup…?’ That’s complaining

—Eckhart Tolle, “A New Earth”

You can get a purple rubber bracelet from the now-mega organization (more than 5 million bracelets are floating around out there), or like me, just use one you already have. Believe me, after about more than a month I haven't made it 24 hours yet, but I certainly am more aware of the insidious habits of complaining, gossiping and criticizing. There is an astounding amount of time, effort and energy that goes into these three verbal (not to mention mental) modes. I am making progress and I think I may just make it a whole day pretty soon.

So what does this have to do with art-making? That same time, energy and effort is better spent doing and making, and keeping on track. If I don't get wrapped up in some drama about someone else, what they are or aren't doing right, how I'd like to do it better, why they should have done it my way, well, I appear to find my work flowing a bit better, a bit cleaner, a lot less driven by envy, jealousy, regrets and anxiety.

The scariest realization I've had is how often I bad mouth-- not others -- but myself: My work habits, my productivity, my body shape, my business sense. My whatever. And out loud, sometimes even when no one else is in the room. I'm not nearly as mean to and about others as I am to myself. And, frankly, I've always considered myself a pretty positive person.

Is this Pollyanna-esque in the extreme (remember Pollyanna, anyone?) Probably, and I think that art has a critical function in a society -- but in our case as visual artists, it's not a verbal run of the mouth kind of criticism. Keep it on the page.

Comments

[PaMdora]

I think some cultures tend to self-deprecate themselves more than other. Although generalizations don't always hold true, in the US there seems pressure to boast or be positive about onesself, whereas in Japanese culture, the opposite is the norm. Since I'm a mix, I often feel conflicted, but in general I think you are what you say and if you say positive things about yourself, you're more likely to be that model. It's what I try, but always can use reminding -- about saying positive things about others. Problem when you're trying to be funny, the Pollyanna approach doesn't get nearly so many laughs. haha! good post!

[Laurie Brainerd]

Very inspiring. I know this would be hard for me. I try to be positive and a lot of negativity comes from my mouth...so I'll give it a shot.

[Laurie Brainerd]

Very inspiring. I know this would be hard for me. I try to be positive and a lot of negativity comes from my mouth...so I'll give it a shot.

[Susan Ettl]

Hi Susie,

Thanks for responding to my request by writing about the bracelet and a complaint free world. I will forward your post to my women's spiritual group.

Chris is now wearing 22 very thin bracelets to move from one wrist to another. She told me if half of them are on each wrist, I will know she is not doing too well. However, before she got her bracelets, she will tell me to move my bracelet to the other wrist every time she criticized someone in my presence. I of course obeyed and then we would both laugh.

I am not doing too well in my quest to stop complaining. However, it has made me very aware. I also agree that it helps to keep you focused on one's artwork.

[Carol WIebe]

I do not think this is Polyanna-esque (and yes, I do remember her) at all. Being overly critical and cynical seems to be the accepted "modern" way of approaching life, being equated with intelligence and realistic thinking. I disagree. If you are looking for the negative in everything, you find it. If you are looking for the positive, you find it. It's more fun and less stressful accentuating the positive aspect of things. I'd rather cultivate hope than expect doom and gloom. Both my energy and productivity levels increase in a positive, expectant atmosphere. Complaining and criticism of others are approaches to dealing with life. Instead of focusing on getting rid of these approaches, I practice finding the positive, even if it is just the acceptance of what is. This is a spiritual practice. You have to practice the scales before you can play the concerto.

[Sheri]

What a great idea Susie! Thank you for the book suggestion. I think we can all use this right now in these somewhat turbulent times.